Imminent Suicide Bomber Shortages
August 2007 For Immediate release: Middle East Supply Crisis
(ACPA-Atlanta) The Atlanta Center for Policy Analysis has uncovered evidence showing growing fears among
Middle East terror groups of an imminent shortage of suicide bombers. The shortage is a
direct result of the dependence of Western Countries on Mid-East
oil 
combined with the
unexpected increase in demand from developing Asian countries such as Pakistan.
Center researchers,at great peril to their own safety, spent terrifying hours browsing terrorist web sites to learn that the price paid for a premium bomber has rocketed in recent weeks, with no relief in site. Terrorists are also concerned that an invasion of Iran will result in an embargo on the export of supplies by Teheran.
Local Sunni customers have also started to move away from the International Terrorist Chain in favor of a recent surge of American imports and the Center predicts local restructuring of Al Qaeda is inevitable. "If the crisis continues heads will roll we expect" said Center Director Ron Pecorry.
"In another surprising finding "noted Pecorry, "we have uncovered a growing fear among increasingly disconsolate Jihadis that the pervasive growth of western sexual values is resulting in fewer virgins in Heaven".
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