This story, syndicated through "The Specious Report" took 2nd place out of 3000+ entries in the "Best satire story of 2008" competition run by HumorFeed.com!

Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Piece of Toast

For Immediate Release: Miracle Toast?

(ACPA-london) Excitement is growing in the Northern England town of Huddlesfield following news that local atheist Donald Chapman saw an image of the Big-Bang in a piece of toast. In an exclusive interview with "The Huddlesfield Express" Chapman, 36, explained that he was sitting down to eat breakfast when an unusual toast pattern caught his eye.

"I was just about to spread the butter when I saw a fairly typical small hole in the bread surrounded by a burnt black ring," said Chapman. "Then to my amazement I noticed the direction and splatter patterns of the crumbs, with their changing shades emanating outwards from the center of the black hole. It was identical to the chaotic-dynamic non-linear patterns that followed the Big-Bang. It's the beginning of the world!"  Images of the actual Big Bang toast are copywrighted by Don Chapman so we can only show this image which is a US Govt public domain picture

Ever since news of the discovery made national headlines, local hoteliers have been overwhelmed by an influx of atheists from all over the country who have flocked to Huddlesfield to catch a glimpse of the scientific relic. "I have always been an Atheist and to see my life choices validated on a piece of toast is truly astounding," exclaimed one guest at the Huddlesfield Arms hotel.

To the surprise of many, the UK National Atheist Association has asked its members not to pay attention to the story despite its potential to inspire less faith. "Given what the religious believe already, this is an easy sell," complained one disgruntled activist who said he was going to Huddlesfield anyway noting that "Seeing is not believing".


winner satire news award second place 2008



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