McCain's dark horse VP choice

For immediate release: Making Political Hay

(ACPA-Kentucky) Confirming weeks of persistent rumors, John McCain has selected a dark horse candidate as his choice for Vice President. Names such as Florida Governor, Charlie Crist, and Kay Hutchinson of Texas, made the headlines as strong contenders, but the prize selection went to Big Brown, winner of the 2008 Kentucky Derby.

Big Brown by Carolyn Dexter "It was important to me to select a running mate who can run harder than any other candidate and Big Brown fulfills that criterion," McCain told a crowded press conference, adding that, "it helps that he has a reputation for being a bit of a maverick like me." A smiling Big Brown stood beside McCain at the podium and will join him on the campaign trail as soon as he has finished siring 4 mares. "Lucky guy," quipped McCain.

Although a surprising choice, he brings a lot of advantages to the McCain campaign. He is expected to secure the Electoral College in Kentucky following his high profile earlier victory there, but pundits were reminded that as a winner of the 2008 Florida Derby, he is considered well positioned to win that pivotal state for the Republicans.

The selection is also seen as building a bridge towards Middle East leaders who are fanatical about horse racing and all things equine. "We need to show the people of Saudi Arabia that we have empathy for them," said McCain, "because with Republicans in charge we are going to need their oil for a long time to come."

Some Republicans did oppose the nomination, however in the end the neighsayers succeeded.

McCain went on to insist his presidency would not be four more years of George Bush, before finishing with a compliment to his VP, "You're doing a great job Brownie."

(Unfortunately Mr. McCain later changed his mind about Brownie, a reversal of position he came to bitterly regret.)

Also read about Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Slice of Toast

Atlanta Chaos as Russia Invades Georgia

First Strike by iPhone Kill- Switch

Click here for all our Satire News Stories

Thanks for visiting!