Upcoming Prayer Day!
For Immediate release: Pray-for-Atheists Day planned
(ACPA-Jerusalem) Rival Christian, Muslim and Jewish groups came together in a press conference in Jerusalem to announce that September 30th will be the first annual "International Pray For Atheists Day". Each religious group is calling on its followers to take time out of their day to pray for the conversion of Atheists.
Imagine a World without Religion
"As shepherds to billions of sheep, we fear for those who refuse to join the herd" stated Bishop Francisco,
public affairs rep. for the Christians adding
"This intra faith effort also serves to remind us all that as terrible are the deeds inspired by religious faith,
from Crusades to suicide bombers to the denial of science, nothing is worse than atheism-not even homosexuality"
"We must pray urgently and incessantly for Atheists because we are afraid they will destroy the world before the End of the world".
New Sin Categories
In order to prevent different religions from neutralizing each others prayers, the world is being divided into major areas and each religion will pray for atheists only in their assigned region.
In an effort to keep the focus on Atheism there is a strict ban on sneaking in prayers across religious lines. So for example Christians should not pray to the Almighty that Jews might convert.
However each group can pray within inter-faith boundaries for members of a similar faith.
So a Sixth Day Adventist can pray for the conversion of Seventh Day Adventists, Shiites can pray for Sunnis, Ultra-Orthodox Jews for Orthodox Jews and so on.
Special new sins have been created to deter against breaking the prayer-day rules with punishments varying amongst the different religious groups.
Christians face more years in Purgatory, Muslims will have an additional month of fasting and Jews will have to watch Yentil every Saturday for a year.
Special Targets
Despite the various restrictions its open season on Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens and all groups are expected to target these infidels with special prayer bombs. Prayer Policies towards Salman Rushdie, smirking Satire Writers and those who read their work (you know who you are!) have yet to be agreed by the three groups.
A spokesperson for the Atheists Assoication could not be found, apparently he was struggling through Chapter 2 of "The God Delusion".
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