Researchers highlights impact of Premarks!

July 2007 For Immediate release: Premarks - all you need to know about the new rule!

(ACPA-Atlanta) Earlier this year the Executive Branch found itself in hot water for its use of illegal wiretaps. However Congress meekly stepped in and passed a new law to make the activities retroactively legal.

The unmasking of the wiretapping program's illegal activity did have the side effect of alerting terrorists to the administrations tracking efforts, deeply upsetting President Bush.

Home of the Premark e Creative Commons Attribution ShareAlike 3.0 License. by wadester16 on wikipedia So the Executive Branch, together with Congress, has created a new legal tool called a Premark, to prevent this from happening again.

A Premark, like an Earmark, will be a few lines added to a bill under circulation in Congress. The Earmark is somewhat scandalous. Basically a politician slips a few lines of text into a major bill and hopes nobody will notice. Those few lines typically fund some pork barrel project that is of no relevance to the main bill, but significantly benefits the politician's constituents or financial backers.

A Tool Against Terrorism

The Premark will work in a similar manner. It will be slipped into some inoffensive piece of legislation and will authorize some new law such as a restriction on habeas corpus, removal of attorney access or elimination of some other basic legal right. Basically, those rights that officials state, "are blocking an effective counter terrorist strategy," will be slowly eliminated with Premarks.

However, unlike an earmark, which can be eventually discovered, the Premark will be deleted from the bill once the bill is approved and then listed in the classified 'Premark Registry', to which only the President will have access.

"It will never show up in the published version of the bill and the terrorists and their supporters will never know what rights have been stripped from them," enthused a highly informed source at the White House adding. "Its just a matter of the President having a competent enough team who can predict the ways in which the Executive Branch will need to break the law. Then Premarks can be created for each of these loopholes, saving potential future embarrassment, while keeping security initiatives secret."

Removing Barriers that aid the Terrorist

The ACLU had planned to condemn the new system, but unfortunately the very first Premark made it a crime to be a member of the ACLU and its members were quietly rounded up before a press release could be issued.

The second Premark is likely to target those who read this article, as anyone with an interest in this subject is likely to be a terrorist sympathizer of some sort. Your IP address has been collected, so get your affairs in order before that knock on the door.

End press release www.satireandcomment.com


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