Schwarzenegger Firestorm
For Immediate release:Schwarzenegger Admits starting Wildfires
(ACPA-Sacramento) Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted that he caused the recent wildfires that caused extensive damage in the exclusive Malibu area of Southern California. The Governor acknowledged that a future version of himself in the form of a Version 2.4 T-Series Poly-Chromic Cyborg had come back to the present to star in Terminator 4.
However the arrival of his
future self in a static ball of white electricity ignited the destructive fire North of Los Angeles. Later when an upgraded 2.5 model
arrived with a mission to kill future-Arnold, it caused the Santiago fire that devastated Orange County.
I wont be back
The Cyborgs went on to cause multiple smaller fires as they chased frantically around Los Angeles in an attempt to kill each-other and people with the name John Connor. "I'm very sorry for all the damage that I have caused, I also want to apologize to all the recently demised John Connors."
"I want to assure the people of Kalifornia that I have declared Producer James Cameron an enemy of the State and will not allow him bring back future versions of me anymore. I blame Hollywood really," he added in a nod to Conservative Republicans.
Friends of Gray Davis the former Governor whom Schwarzenegger deposed in a recall election, say that California is now paying the price for electing a machine. Arnold supporters though were quick to remind everyone that Davis's own grey demeanor was more machine-like than Arnold. "Unlike Davis, Arnold is quite funny sometimes and that's not just by Austrian standards" claimed one supporter.
Back to the Future?
In a side note, Schwarzenegger also took the opportunity to deny that his future selves are attempting to go back to 1788 to prevent the Constitutional ban on foreign born Presidents from ever being written.
Hopes that he might use that opportunity to insert a ban on Texans becoming President were dashed when scholars pointed out that Texas was not part of the Union at that time.
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