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Obama To Block Upcoming Stephen Colbert Persian Gulf Trip

For immediate release: No Rapport

(ACPA-Charleston) President Obama declared today that he plans to block an upcoming trip to the Persian Gulf by right wing broadcaster Stephen Colbert, fearing the visit will "further inflame anti-American opinion," and endanger U.S. forces in Iraq and Afghanistan.

According to an AP report, Obama's surprise decision has kicked off a firestorm of criticism on the blogosphere. Conservative pundits are claiming he is buckling to political pressure while liberals appear to broadly agree with the decision, despite a growing fear that he is becoming a flip-flopper.

Obama said, "I want to emphasize that the planned show is particularly sensational, especially when compared to the torturous sounds that we hear on The Rush Limbaugh Show."

Colbert, a blustery right-wing commentator with a strong distaste for facts, insisted that the trip would go ahead as planned and fired back that the ban was revenge because he had called Obama's Press Secretary a "red-faced tank."

Despite the bravado, Colbert, described by supporters as "a deeply self-centered caustic right-wing bully," and an "arch-conservative blowhard who takes everything personally," was rumored to be off the wagon and resorting to painkillers to deal with the crisis.

The scandal threatened to grow with rumors that Nancy Pelosi had seen early copies of the script for the planned show but failed to notify her left wing supporters. Meanwhile, Colbert continued to deny any wrong doing and said he only wants to go "somewhere where there are no bears."