God to help Atlanta
For Immediate release: God to help parched Atlanta
(ACPA-Atlanta) In a move to end the severe drought that has the City of Atlanta at dire risk of running out of water, Georgia State Governor Sonny Purdue assembled a crisis team on the steps of the State Capitol to take direct action to stop the impending disaster.
Initial rumors suggested the assembled folks were experienced in delivering water to desert areas of Africa and other drought ravaged places. However, it soon emerged that the second term Republican Governor had a much smarter idea. He had brought in a group of devout Christians to do a 21st century rain dance.
Any water left from those tears?
Rain dances were popular among the Cherokee Indians of Georgia 200 years ago, until they were all killed by the more civilized settlers. A few survivors were shipped off on the "Trail of Tears" to arid reservations in Oklahoma, where they quickly managed to find enough water to survive.
In honor of the exiled, beautiful Cherokee County was named, and 250 good Christians from there and other elegant suburbs of Atlanta descended on the Capitol Building to pray for rain.
The Governor did not think that the event at a State building represented a violation of the separation of Church and State, presumably because it was a Christian prayer service.
Nor did he believe the service reinforced the image of Georgians as backward hicks.
A spokesman for the Governor stated, "the idea that modern civilized Georgians would do a rain dance is of course laughable and that anyone would compare a prayer services with a rain dance is highly blasphemous. Anyone saying that is likely to go to hell."
Other Republicans were incensed with the Governors statement that the drought was, "God's punishment for our lack of conservation. If he keeps talking crazy like that," said one insider, "next thing people will start thinking global warming is God's punishment for starting oil wars. We can't have our voting base thinking that Americans are having an affect on the environment, it could hurt our oil company donors."
That same day, the Governor of Florida rescinded a water reduction agreement that would have helped stave off Atlanta's impending disaster, proving that God is really on the side of the Floridians.
Also laugh at Obama to apologize for burning of Atlanta
Republicans finally come up with a new Idea
Hilary Pokes Ahmadinejad with her Umbrella
So-called Hero Pilot Refuses to Lands Plane in Chicago River
Local Walmarts Fear Rise of Super-Walmart
Not Gay Senator to Visit Iran
Atheist Sees Image of the Big Bang in a Slice of Toast
or Click here for all our Satire News Stories
Thanks for visiting!