God to help Atlanta
November 2007. For Immediate release: God to help parched Atlantans
(ACPA-Atlanta) In a move to end the severe drought that has the City of Atlanta at dire risk of running out of water, an imaginative Georgia State Governor Sonny Purdue assembled a team on the steps of the State Government Building to take direct action to stop the impending disaster.
Initial rumors suggested the assembled folks were experienced in delivering water to desert areas of Africa.
However it soon emerged that the second term Republican Governor had a much smarter idea. He had brought in a group of devout Christians to do a 21st century rain dance.
Any water left from those tears?
Rain dances were popular among the Cherokee Indians of Georgia 200 years ago, until they were all killed by more civilized settlers. A few survivors were shipped off on the "Trail of Tears" to arid reservations in Oklahoma where they quickly managed to find enough water to survive.
However beautiful Cherokee County, just outside Atlanta, is named after the natives and 250 good Christians from there and other elegant suburbs of Atlanta descended on the Capitol Building to pray for rain.
The Governor did not think that the event on the State Government Capitol Building represented a violation of the separation of Church and State, presumably because it was Christian prayer service.
Nor did he believe the service reinforced the image of Georgians as backward hicks.
A spokesman for the Governor stated "The idea that modern civilized Georgians would do a rain dance is of course laughable and that anyone would compare a prayer services with a rain dance is highly blasphemous. Anyone saying that is likely to go to hell."
Other Republicans were incensed though with the Governors statement that the drought was "God's punishment for our lack of conservation". "If he keeps talking crazy like that," said one insider "next thing people will start thinking global warming is God's punishment for starting oil wars". "We can't have our voting base thinking that Americans are having an affect on the environment, it could hurt our oil company donors".
At the same time the Governor of Florida rescinded a water reduction agreement that would have helped stave off Atlanta impending disaster, proving that God is really on the side of the Floridians.
End press release www.satireandcomment.com
