Crisis on Main street: Joe Sixpack arrested

(ACPA-Biloxi) Joe Sixpack was arrested earlier this afternoon, after urinating on a bank in Main Street, Biloxi. Mr. Sixpack was very intoxicated and mistook the front window of the bank for the back wall.

Shocked customers had to be led away suffering convulsions, while Sixpack exchanged blows with local police. In its biggest crisis to date, Main Street was completely shut down by the sudden turn of events. Curious onlookers reported that Sixpack was blubbering, "Sarah, Sarah I'm just tryin' to shake things up baby, I'm the only one who really fights for you," as police wrestled him to the ground. The incident was caught on a nearby traffic camera and is now a minor classic on the Internet.

image found on http://static1.firedoglake.comIn a statement to the press, Chief of Police Dwayne Preston confirmed that a Mr Joseph Tyler Sixpack will be charged with resisting arrest, public intoxication, and indecent exposure.

"My JT's not usually like this," pleaded his mother Sharlene to startled reporters. "He just got carried away with all the attention that Palin woman has been puttin' on him, he's hasn't had this much fame since he was on COPS."

Sixpack, who has a long string of minor offenses to his name, faces up to 3 months behind bars if convicted, but his court appointed attorney hopes he "will be out in time to vote for Sarah."

Currently on bail, Mr. Sixpack was last seen sitting on the stoop of his house throwing empty beers cans at reporters who tried to question him. The irate voter was heard shouting, "git off ma property you sons a betchas and git yur hands off a ma cars," at frightened newsmen from the New York Times, who were on their first foreign assignment.

Meanwhile Sarah Palin said that she had "heard there is a banking crisis on Main Street and John McCain and I intend to visit there to learn more because Main Street is very important to us."

Also read about Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Slice of Toast

Bailing Out the Economy One Bucket at a Time

McCain Picks Horse for VP

Atlanta Chaos as Russia Invades Georgia

NRA Condemn Massacres

Click here for all our Satire News Stories

Thanks for visiting!