Palin Supporter Arrested
For immediate release: Crisis on Main Street
(ACPA-Biloxi) Joe Sixpack was arrested today, after urinating on Main Street bank in the middle of the afternoon. He nearly got arrested while urinating, but police officers quickly realized that it was better to wait. "He had drank a heck of a lot," said one officer explaining the delay.
Mr. Sixpack was very intoxicated and mistook the front window of the bank for the back wall. Shocked customers had to be led away suffering convulsions, while he exchanged blows with local police. In its biggest crisis to date, Main street was completely shut down by the sudden turn of events. Curious onlookers reported that Sixpack was blubbering, "Sarah, Sarah I'm just tryin' to shake things up baby, I'm the only one who really fought for you," as police finally wrestled him to the ground.
Police chief Dwayne Preston,
issued a
statement that a Mr Joseph Tyler Sixpack will be charged with assault on several police officers and public intoxication. The incident was
caught on a nearby traffic camera and is now a minor classic on the Internet.
"My JT's not usually like this," pleaded his mother Sharlene to startled reporters. "He just got carried away with all the attention that Palin woman's been puttin' on him, he's hasn't had this much fame since he was on COPS."
Sixpack, who has a long string of minor offenses to his name, faces up to 3 months behind bars if convicted, but his court appointed attorney hopes he "will be out in time to vote for Sarah."
Currently on bail, Mr. Sixpack was last seen sitting on the stoop of his house throwing empty beers cans at reporters who tried to question him. The irate voter was heard shouting, "git off ma property you sons a betchas and git yur hands off a ma cars," to frightened newsmen from the New York Times, who were on their first foreign assignment.
Meanwhile Sarah Palin said that she still believed in Sixpack and plans to visit Main street to see the effect of the banking crisis firsthand.
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