Turkish Genocide Resolution

For Immediate release: No more Turkish Delight!

(ACPA-Ankara) In a move aimed at America's upcoming Thanksgiving celebrations, Ankara's leading politicians are planning a resolution to condemn the annual genocide of millions of Turkeys every November. The proposal is widely seen as retaliation for the recent US Congress vote in favor of a resolution describing the killings of Armenians by Turks in 1915 as Genocide.

Recent NATO MeetingThe incensed Turks who named their country after the beloved feathered bird have finally said enough is enough. "We might have gotten a little carried away 100 years ago, but look at you guys, you just can't stop killing," said an angry Olan Paljunik of the Turkish Alliance party.

"You are butchering our feathered friends year after year and for what? To celebrate your own genocide of the native Indians! You should pass a resolution condemning yourselves," said the irate lawmaker.

Turkey, a key ally in the War of Error, has been also been critical of the US military's failure to knock the stuffing out of Kurdish rebels. "We are going to invade Northern Iraq and put down the PKK ourselves and after that we are going after KFC."

The failure of the Americans to wipe out cranberry growers in Afghanistan is also a source of resentment among the Turks who were previously a compliant NATO Ally. In typically confusing manner, President Bush stated, "They are all Muslims anyway so we would not expect turkeys to vote for Christmas."

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