Animal Cruelty in Atlanta
For immediate release: Animal Cruelty Crisis in Atlanta
(ACPA-Atlanta) Nationally famous dog-fighting star, Michael Vick has found himself stuck in the biggest scandal to hit Atlanta since Scarlett O'Hara got drunk at the Fulton County Fair. Fans of Mr. Vick, a nationally renowned professional, who for years has been successfully training dogs to fight each other to the death, are reported to be in shock.
More than just a champion of animal sports, Vick also runs a highly valued gambling operation as a service for his customers. With environmentalists consistently praising his preference for hanging dogs that could no longer fight, to avoid using lead bullets, it seemed he could do no wrong.
A sordid secret life
The problem is that Vick has a highly disturbing other life. During his spare time he is quarterback for a football team known as the Atlanta Falcons. For the benefit of our European readers, American football is not soccer, a game that is less popular than dog fighting. It is a complicated game played by men with odd shaped balls, who run short sprints followed by 5 minute breaks for television commercials about large trucks and low quality beer. Its target audiences include mathematicians and statistical analysts.
While a very dull game, it is also extremely violent and it is this
violence that has Vick in trouble. Although not terribly effective,
the Falcons are a particularly cruel group. In the past year alone they have been
in several staged fights with other animals and have killed a number of Panthers and Bengals. They also took part in a
fierce fight with several Eagles and a group of Ravens.
Although not top dog, Vick has been arrested on charges of animal cruelty, because as quarterback he is ringleader of the fights. The Feds stepped in when they received a tip that a whole new season of cruelty was about to start.
PETA Protests
A jury has been selected and is on standby. Jury foreman, Tyson, an African American bulldog insists that Vick will get a fair trial. If convicted, Vick will spend a year in prison, although according to one report PETA is calling for the sentence to be served in dog years.
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