Atheist see Big Bang in piece of toast Whites to be rounded up into concentration camps called suburbs Casey Anthony publishes 'Better Parenting' book

With cartoonists dead, extremists return to what they do best: Killing other Muslims

(ACPA-Sana'a, Yemen) There was widespread relief in Muslim extremist circles following the deaths of several cartoonists whose efforts have successfully kept fighters on the defensive for years. Now, with the threat of mockery and incisive caricatures lifted, these groups of otherwise brave fighters are set to get back to what they do best - killing other Muslims.

"Oh, yes habibi, it's true," said Naseem Abdu of Al Qaeda in Yemen. "We exploded a car bomb today at a cultural center in Sana'a killing 23 people. We had been postponing it for weeks, worried that the people were laughing at us, but today we are back on our game."

Je suis embarassed

 publicdomian photo from wikipedia, appears to be by user shoestring?

"I agree," said Ahmed al-Hazari, an ISIS gunman, "the mockery has been very embarrassing. I was getting ready to rape this Druze girl in Syria but she pulled out a cartoon and I was so mortified I couldn't get it up. I had to run and hide, but now I'm all set. I cant wait for Friday after prayers."

In Pakistan, the death of the cartoonists has given a big lift to local Wahhabists who had been on a downer lately. "We were killing a few teachers here and there, a civil servant or two," said Saeed Kaushek , "but you could tell the men did not really have their hearts in it. But now, without the threat of comics, we are heading off on a big rampage today. We will teach those less faithful than us that for them Islam is the religion of pieces ha ha. It's good to be back, no?!"

Meanwhile in Heaven, Jesus and Mohammed have started a caricature contest. Jesus is reportedly slightly ahead but Mohammed has been overheard saying, "I'm not worried, the cartoonists have all eternity, I'm sure they will draw something that's funny sooner or later."

Other News

Muslims at it again with plans for mosque in the middle of nowhere

Alabama to introduce "Hoodies For Hispanics" program

or Click here for all our Satire News Stories

Thank you for visiting!