Terrorist With C4, Command Wire, Instructions Book In Plane Bomb Attempt
(ACPA-Yemen) 114 travelers aboard flight 253 from Amsterdam to Detroit had a lucky escape when an eagle eyed passenger prevented a Yemeni terrorist from blowing up their flight.
In the 14th failed bomb attack of 2010, Bassam Mustafa Banda, or Bomber Banda as the authorities in Sanaa call him, came close to detonating several blocks of C4 explosives before passenger John Wright ran down the aisle and tackled the would-be suicide bomber.
Wright said he got suspicious when he saw an agitated passenger struggling to attach command wires to an electrical outlet at the back of the plane. "I had heard about the gunpowder trail that fizzled out in the aisle on a United flight last week, so I definitely thought 25 feet of electrical cable looked suspicious. Then, I saw he had 6 blocks of C4 on his seat, so I knew something was not right."
"It's lucky I wasn't tied to my seat like all the other passengers, these security measures are really getting uncomfortable, and ugly too if you count the orange polyester jumpsuits."
Meanwhile, red-faced TSA officials struggled to explain how a man on several watch lists was able to board the plane with explosives, detonation cord and a copy of the Idiots Guide to Airplane Bombs.
"He is not on the no-fly list," insisted one TSA official, while acknowledging he was on the Guantanamo-alumni list and the foreigners-likely-to-carry-bombs-onto-a-plane-if-you-take-your-eye-off-them-for-a-second list. He is also webmaster of the very popular YemenJihadis.com.
"He told us he had put all the terrorism stuff behind him when we questioned him and that the website was just a social forum for friends," explained the official, adding "and how were we to know it was C4. Have you ever seen C4?"
TSA officials are now believed to be considering a Silence of the Lambs serial killer lockdown style of travel for future flights. Face masks, ankle chains and catheter tubes will soon be added to the growing list of "security enhancements, designed to make traveling safer and more convenient for everyone."
Across the Arab world, frustration is growing among young Jihadis. "This should be like taking baklava from a baby, but we just keep failing," explained a student at Sanaa Central University. Another would-be martyr expressed his growing doubts: "I'm desperate for virgins but I don't want to spend 50 years in an American prison."
A White House spokesman declined to comment, other than acknowledging that "Operations Yemeni Freedom and Nigeria Freedom are now in advanced planning."
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