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Coward Sullenberger ignores passengers pleas, refuses to land delayed flight in chicago river

For immediate release: Sully's Sullied Star

(ACPA-Chicago) From hero to zero, the sheen is off so-called hero pilot Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger after he denied increasingly frantic requests from passengers to land his plane in the Chicago River.

The drama occurred on his first day back on the job following his recent landing in the Hudson, and Sully's blatant disregard for the pleas of 35 distraught passengers has cast him in a new and less flattering light.

Tom Becker, who was flying to the Windy City for a business meeting, described the chaotic scenes on board Flight 114 as the pilot doggedly resisted calls from passengers to put the plane down in the water. "We were already late and then he announced we were going to have to circle for two hours because of a snow storm," Becker told reporters, "but despite our desperate pleas, he refused to put the plane in the river. Heck, I could see my office from the air every time we circled, it was so frustrating."

An upset Jeannie Duggan, who missed her wedding rehearsal dinner because of the delay, explained, "I begged him, 'just put it down in the water, most of us are in downtown hotels anyway,' but the heartless creep wouldn't do it."

"Pilots, they're all about the money," said Rich Franklin who was traveling to Chicago for a job interview. He told a reporter that, "Sullenberger was praying we would get diverted to another airport, that's the overtime jackpot for those guys."

Other frequent flyers echoed the sentiments of the Chicago River 35. "Last week we were doing the usual hours of circling above Atlanta, and do you think we could get the pilot to land in the Chattahoochee?" asked Ron Pearson of Sandy Springs, Georgia. "No chance, he just hid in the cockpit like a little girl, begging the Air Marshal to keep us back."

The American Association for Travelers Rights, AATR, is considering a public interest lawsuit against several airlines for their steadfast refusal to include freeways, rivers, and parachutes as potential landing options for delayed passengers. "They keep hiding behind the safety excuse," said an AATR spokesman, "but then why do they train their pilots so much if they're only going to land on runways?"

For one passenger, though, this was the last straw. "I have had enough with flying," said Josh Prezlomic of Wisconsin. "From endless security lines to keeping us in the air as long as possible, it's too much," he insisted, "I'm driving from now on." With the numbers of frustrated passengers increasing every day, analysts expect it won't be long before airlines are forced to adopt the river option as policy.